The Four Elements Of Intimacy

Intimacy as complex as it can be, defines the characteristics of a true meaningful and rewarding romantic relationship. As defined in the American Heritage Dictionary, intimacy, being the condition of being intimate, is to be marked by close association, or familiarity. It is also defined as “pertaining to or indicative of ones deepest nature.” To be intimate with some one is to share with them the ingredients of who you are, which are kept private from the rest of the outside world. Intimacy is broken down into four key elements; that is intellectual, emotional, physical, and shared activities. Each element ties two people together lovingly and willingly. These essentials also work within and enhance each other. Intimacy is about communication and the different levels of connections loved ones share.
Many would argue that out of these four elements intellectual connection might be the most important. A part of being connected intellectually is sharing a set of common goals as well as morals. Couples, who agree or at times agree to disagree with a level of understanding of one each others values, are able to communicate more effectively. A strong duo has the ability to teach and to learn from each other as they satisfy their intellectual needs. Some people appreciate the idea of being challenged mentally by their partner. They are pushed and intrigued by their lover in ways that enables them to think outside of their box. We all wish at times that we had the power to read minds, most importantly the minds of those we love. In reality, would the relationship be as much of a challenge if we did? Not having that twenty-four hour open view to our lover’s thoughts motivates us to take action towards making the intellectual connection, that is, if we care.
To care for someone is to allow you to be connected to him or her emotionally. Being the antonym of intellectualism, emotionalism is the less controlled. Emotions are criticized for its gift to overshadow and overpower our ability to be rational, so it is important to be able to share your emotions with some one you can trust. Even then, trust is another one of those emotions that may not see the light of ration. You cannot teach someone how to trust you; it is something a person must grow into on their own account. Trust in a relationship becomes a part of its basic instinct, without it the relationship is crippled. Each person looks for their partner to give them genuine emotional support. When there is trust on both sides the relationship is able to flourish and each person is able to focus on the more intense aspects of their emotional connection, their love. Love is the evidence that the emotional connection actually exists. When the love between two people is evident and being equally nourished, the relationship is nothing less than great.
No one person can clearly sum up the definition of love because there is none. Love is also about giving to someone else rather than looking for what they can give to you. Love definitely exists and while it can make you feel as though you are on top of the world, it can also be described as an x-factor. As elaborate as love is, people often make the mistake of using actions and ration as evidence of its existence and depth. Women, stereotypically more emotional than their male partners, complain and are left confused because of their belief that their lovers are not as emotionally in tuned with them. Perhaps as humans we all do not show our emotions in the same fashion. This is not proof that the feelings are not there. So at times we do allow our minds to distort our realities as well as our emotions, that is why a good balance of each of these elements determines a well-rounded relationship.
Out of these four elements, having a stable and healthy physical connection can be the most challenging as well as engaging. Most would think that having a great physical connection is nothing more than having great sex, while others believe that sex as a whole is overrated. Many people use sex as a method to satisfy their deepest urges and soon discover that they have only satisfied a temporary desire. Physical as an element of intimacy goes far beyond our wildest sexual cravings. There is a much deeper need to be met. A bodily union is also about the effects lovers have on one another physically even without touch. This is extremely more satisfying. Some couples are able to transfer their true emotions and thoughts through their body language. Physical attraction can be the most defined link between couples in the beginning stages of their relationship. It is easier to be physically connected to someone than any or the other three elements. The attraction to someone physically gives us our first inclination to become closer to that person and learn more about him or her. Without physical attraction many couples would have never crossed one each others paths. It is a starting point for relationships because many couples find it easier to communicate physically. Even when couples are having hard times communicating their thoughts, emotions, needs, and desires through words, they are able to communicate physically if that strong connection is there. Having a physical bond is one of the many things deeply connected couples share.
Although some believe that opposites attract, in order for these opposites to have a fulfilled relationship they turn to being productive with one another though shared activities that bring them closer. Couples who find they have a lot in common take pleasure in spending time taking part in the activities they both enjoy with one another, which makes the activities even more gratifying. No one wants to be completely opposite from their partner. People find comfort in being able to connect with someone through their likes, dislikes, and behaviors. Sharing activities amongst a loving couple brings excitement and interest to the relationship. Couples have more engaging and intellectual conversations with one another with out leaving their partner completely in the dark. They have fun. They share a happiness no one else in their lives understands. These shared activities are one of the aspects of the relationship along with the other three elements of intimacy that belong to the couple and no one else.
Most of us have the desire for some sort of intimacy in our lives. At times we settle for the small attributes in intimacy rather than the full package that threes four elements represent. People should ask themselves; does your relationship include all four of these elements? If so, he or she is fortunate to have found someone who is definitely a keeper. The elements of genuine intimacy if it does not already exist, cannot be achieved instantly. If you try to force it upon you and you partner too quickly,
You find yourself in an unbalanced state, searching for harmony. Intimacy also means total life sharing. Although having intimacy with someone makes a world of a difference in our lives, it can also be very frightening because of the many misunderstandings along with miscommunications we have about our lovers and the mistakes we make. Intimacy must be nurtured on a consistent basis in order for the connection to stay alive and strong. Each of the four elements help as an evaluation of the level of intimacy and what is needed to help make the relationship last.