"I need someone to talk to that doesn't know me. This may be weird but I'm about to open up and get a little deep so bare with me. I live alone and have been doing so for 9 months now and where as I was accustomed to never being alone, coming from a large family and having close/live in friends roommates I find myself being a lone far beyond my comfort level. Many people frown up at the idea of me spending so much time a lone due to many misconceptions they have of me 1. My social media presence exemplifies one of a woman who frequents the night life of Hollywood and beyond 2. My outer beauty typically does not adhere to loneliness for any reason. Truth be told if I really really wanted to fulfill a presence in my home at this very moment I could do so, however I yearn for something greater. On the contrary I have had a life full of whodini lovers; Men who come into my life for a short period of time that I enjoy passionately and share a physical desire for most times a mental mutuality however for unknown reasons disappear with out reason or warning. Leaving me with questions lack of faith on men and self blame. I ask myself am I too independent? Am I not "wifey" material? Am I overly sexual? Too nonchalant? Does my actions and attitude not demand more? Or am I flat out intimidating? I have my own and have never asked a man other than my father and ex fiancé for anything. My adorable little one bedroom on the edge of Korea Town and Hollywood I put so much of my attention to perhaps is a scream for attention however I love to be surrounded with beauty and being able to be the one responsible for creating a beautiful atmosphere. I have my own car, closets full of clothes and shoes, HD TVs iPads laptops and more. I can create the complete oasis any man would love to engulf himself in which deep down is the overall motivation behind my style . I always thought of myself as wifey material being as domesticated as one single Hollywood woman could be. Being able to cook clean and monitor the home front as well as being supportive and business minded at all times. I love love love to fuck and would willingly do so all day and night, however most people could tell that about me with just one glance, sex for me at times is a sport but more so a way I communicate my passion and relate to someone I crave for in that manner, no my list of lovers is not the length of a football field yet not one I will openly discuss. This overly matured libido of mine consumes most of my ration once it is turned on full fledged and I allow for it to be the exception and excuse with out any rules. I will say, that I only share my pussy with the most gorgeous of gorgeous men; athletes, actors, models, businessmen, men with amazing strong and bold features and attitudes to match. So here I am. Laying half naked on my black metal canopy queen bed with black sheets dark blue drapes, blue scented candles ablaze, soft music playing thinking how ridiculous any man is for not being here and how intense my sex would be at this very moment. Even better, how obscenely preposterous it is for him not to be here every single night. I think I may be closely compared to a lonely black widow who is so desperately wanting to be a blue butterfly. I don't have the answers and never will I don't know how many times I can take someone asking me why the hell I am single with out cussing them out. I just know I am being forced to work on me and be comfortable and happy with the black widow blue butterfly that I am. Complex, sexual, spiritual, intellectual, typical, anti conformist, conspiracy theorist, simple, just me. So just so you know.. 😘"
