I've been in love, I've been hurt, I'm afraid of my own feelings I don't want to hurt anymore So do me a favor and spare me the disappointment while you can. I don't want to resent you or call you all kinds of unholy names. What's that you say?? I'm pessimistic?? I'd normally laugh ant that but this time I'll take it in stride. Perhaps I've already fallen in love with you, I have nowhere else to hide. like one foot in the ocean the other in the sand. I'll fight this love I'll do all that I can. I barely know you, you barely know me, but this feeling has overcome me so abruptly. I'm thinking thoughts I haven't thought in quite some time, smiling a smile that seems so ever sublime. I really really really do not want to love you, not now, at no point in time. You make me feel at ease and at peace while in your presence, like being at home on a crisp spring day. I cannot fall in love with you, it cannot end up this way. I look into the future, The day you stop retuning my calls and texts, the day I pretend to be okay with it until I see you with the next. This cannot happen to me again, I don't think I'm strong enough. You're touch is magnetic and pulls out so much of my resistance, We made love, I felt something I no longer thought existed. I cannot fall in love with you, once the bliss runs out loneliness will set in. I'll look in the mirror and say "damn I did it again." Not that your not amazing.. the fact that you are amazing is what frightens me the most I need to run away from you allow my feelings to become ghost. I'm sorry if this comes as a surprise but a broken heart is so very distracting I cannot function, think, calculate, because the pain is so impacting. So sad that the last has conditioned me to feel this way, perhaps I'm letting him win but to avoid that pain Ill chose not to sink but to swim. I cannot fall in love with you this is the way it has to be, so please do not be confused or saddened when you no longer hear from me.
