Self-Reflexivity Essay: I am a Researcher

As a researcher, I hold multiple identities, some I am constantly aware of, and others I tend to not notice so much. Identities such as age I tend not to worry too much about. What I tend to be constantly cognizant of through my everyday life, are the aspects of my identity that either cause the most attention to myself or have a historical and current controversy within American society such as race, religion, and socioeconomic class. I had previously wrote an analytical essay in a woman’s studies course in which I proposed the idea that as an African American female, I tend to identify more with the black perspective rather than a feminist ideology. Only in the more outrageous circumstances in which I am amongst a group of all men, do I become self aware of my gender. I am always aware of my African American heritage and constantly consider circumstances in which my “race” plays a factor into the outcome. Whenever I encounter someone new, I ponder what they thought of me as a Black Person, and I am always concerned about giving off the best impression because I feel as though I am a representation of my race and my culture of people. I am also very critical of people and organizations that I believe or is known to have their own biasness against my African culture and race. My socioeconomic class has become more prominent in my life, going hand in hand with my African American heritage, because I see the unfair treatment and lack of resources given to my people. It makes me impartial against such biases and more critical to all people with wealth, power, and of the more dominant race.
As I get older and am becoming more involved in the world of academia, I come across more criticisms of religion and more specifically the more predominant or widely accepted religion such as Christianity in which I am a devout member. At times I find some difficulty to merge both ideologies and critiques of intellectualism and spirituality, however my biasness more often times lies within my spirituality. So far this has not become an issue for me because I am open to and interested in learning about different faiths and religions, in fact I find the variety fascinating and in no way do I ever use my individual religious beliefs to condemn someone else’s. It does however effect the way I see the world, society and the way people are. I make inferences about particular people who hold similar faiths as mine, and those who have opposing views. I try to be impartial as possible and I never feel as though one person’s beliefs are wrong and that only my beliefs are right, however when it comes to issues of morality and what is right versus what is wrong, such as abortion and capital punishment, I tend to have conflicting views stemming from my religious beliefs and my more logical and intellectual standards. At times, but not often, I am unable to make decision based upon my beliefs because my many different identities that have effects on my thought process conflict with one another.